Introducing Myself!

I just want to say hi. I don't have time right now to write the introduction like you two did but it won't stop me from saying anything...

I am from a small country in Europe which has only about two million people and I love traveling.
I'm male and my name 'Rakija' is actually my favorite home brewed alcohol, SO STRONG.
As far as wicca goes, my granny was a witch and I personally study black, night, blood and conjuration magick for the last hmmmm i don't know how long but its years long =)
Actually my first experiences were when i was 13 (24now) in school and 4 of my girlfriends practiced wicca, 2 of them were in love with me (not at the same time but over years) and included me in their workings and thought me conjurations on the cementary. At about 17 we lost all contact, the world was just bad and evil to us and about a year later i went freelance into studying all the material i found on internet, it took me few years to understand how many religions form their own rituals, prayers and spells untill i eventualy came waaay back to egiptians and pagans. I read many grimores, and even wrote a spellbook, then left to india for about half a year which was really shocking. There this 'belief', spirituality is on such a high level with everyone that it boosted my understanding and belief to whole new level. That was basicly because i never before saw like billion people practicing 'magic' on a daily, hourly basis and everywhere.

I take trips to the forest for practicing minor rituals and spells, i leave conjurations behind locked dors in my home, and black magic - is killing me, i fell too deep and am fighting hard to stay alive and well, i am actually REALLY messed up.... and there is no help for me, no will from anyone whom i asked... Now i am learning in the way that i am hand rewriting all the spells and information i gathered and deem useful into a booklet i will probably call 'cliche' The book of Shadows =) and i have a huge collection of evil stuff, i know now that one must be good in order to do evil. I didn't stick to the rede past few years 'but do it in love that harms none' it was more like 'use the hate and harm all'.... But KNOW that i am on a good way now, at least trying hard when i feel that hate emerging to chanel it thru the heart and turn upon myself and not others, im warring my demons and the battles are hard yet i am determined they will not win!!

Welcome, it's a pleasure to have you here. Please allow me to clarify at this point, in the Wiccan religion, we abide strictly by the Wiccan Rede... "An It Harm None, Do What Ye Will." We do NOT practice black, or dark magick, as both are intended to harm or cause pain to others. I will not allow discussion of black magick on my forum, I just want to make that perfectly clear. It sounds as though you have an extensive amount if experience and have done quite a bit of research, I hope you will continue to learn more.